Top 20 Worst Things That Happened To Squidward
Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 20 Worst Things That Happened To Squidward. For this list, we’ll be looking at the most horrible experiences Squidward Q. Tentacles has endured on “SpongeBob SquarePants.” What do you think is the worst thing to happen to the grouchy octopus? Let us know in the comments.
#20: Opposite Day
"Opposite Day"
Squidward probably should’ve known better, because SpongeBob never does anything halfway. Our beloved grump wants to sell his house and get out of dodge. So he lies to SpongeBob by claiming it’s “Opposite Day,” hoping this will subdue the fry cook’s behavior when the realtor arrives. Of course, the yellow sponge and Patrick take this too literally and cause a mess. While Squidward tries to fix said mess, his chaotic neighbors impersonate him — the person most opposite to them — with the realtor. Needless to say, that all-important meeting goes poorly. Squiddy wanted to sell to get away from SpongeBob and Patrick, and ended up creating circumstances that ruined his chance to do so. It’s ironic, but we can’t help but feel for him.
#19: Getting His Toenail Ripped Out
Top 10 Worst Things That Happened To Squidward
"House Fancy"
Oof, this one isn’t just painful for Squidward, it’s painful for us to watch. The octopus accepts SpongeBob’s help in dressing up his house so he can out-fancy his nemesis Squilliam Fancyson on TV. The sponge really does try his best, but he accidentally drags a couch over Squidward’s foot. As if that isn’t already painful enough, he then keeps pushing it, ripping Squidward’s toenail out entirely. The sound plus the visual makes this one really graphic, to boot. Sure, the cephalopod hilariously ends up earning the “House Fancy Prince” title after a whole lot of antics, but at what cost?!
#18: Kicked Out of the Cephalopod Lodge
Top 10 Competition Show Scandals That Got Contestants Kicked Off
"Cephalopod Lodge"
This is why Squidward can’t have nice things. SpongeBob and Patrick inevitably ruin them. When Squidward dares to appear happy one day a month, his neighbors investigate. They follow him into a Lodge for cephalopods, but get cast out as outsiders, dragging the octopus down with them. Rather than leave well enough alone, they then attempt to get him reinstated not once, but twice. Predictably, that goes sideways. Worst of all, SpongeBob and Patrick basically force him to join a club they make up, and “initiate” him via jellyfish sting – also twice. Can’t Squiddy ever simply be happy?!
#17: Hospitalized Thanks to a Slide Whistle
"Slide Whistle Stooges"
To be honest, Squidward brought this one on himself. Given how annoying he found SpongeBob and Patrick’s slide whistle use, he should’ve expected the same reaction from the rest of Bikini Bottom when he took up the hobby. Regardless, what happens to him here is brutal. As he goes around town playing his slide whistle, the townspeople get aggravated. It gets so bad that they all go after him. Though he seems unbothered as he drives away, he ends up in a fiery explosion. It’s like we said, brutal stuff. Of course, Squidward survives, but let’s just say he becomes one with the slide whistle in a way we wouldn’t wish on anyone.
#16: Patrick’s Lemonade Stand
Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Patrick Star
“Ink Lemonade”
Patrick is running a lemonade stand and ends up drawing a crowd with his “black lemonade” – aka Squidward’s nose ink. To keep his business afloat, Patrick goes out of his way to terrify the ink out of poor Squidward – even going as far as building a weirdly personal haunted house. You’d expect this kind of conniving, almost sadistic business practice from Plankton or Mr. Krabs… but from the “good-natured” doofus? To make it even worse, nobody seems to care that they’re drinking squid ink until Squidward takes over the business –meaning he has NOTHING to show for his idiot neighbor irritating his condition.
#15: His First Krabby Patty
Top 10 Worst Things That Ever Happened to SpongeBob SquarePants
“Just One Bite”
In this episode we learn that somehow, despite all his years at the Krusty Krab, our favorite cephalopod has never tasted a Krabby Patty. In hindsight, he probably would’ve been better off if he had stayed far away from the menu item. After getting the tiniest possible taste, he becomes completely obsessed with the food and goes to truly extreme lengths to get more. Eventually, he ends up in the Krabby Patty vault, where the supply is practically endless. Unable to contain himself, he devours a lot of them. That might sound like a treat, but he eats so many that he balloons up and literally explodes — poor guy.
#14: Punished Despite Having “Boat Smarts”
"Boat Smarts"
Both Squidward and SpongeBob star in a “driving safety film” as a good and bad boater, respectively. But all the good boating in the world can’t save Squiddy from the yellow guy. When SpongeBob drives recklessly, it’s Squidward who gets in an accident. And when SpongeBob adjusts his mirror while handling the vehicle, you guessed it, recklessly, it’s also Squidward who pays. And those are just a couple of examples. No good deed, right? Sometimes Squidward is the ‘villain’ of the show, or at least provokes what happens to him. But he’s supposed to be the good guy here, and he’s still the one who suffers the consequences of SpongeBob’s bad behavior. How is that fair?!
#13: Losing an Artistic Opportunity
“Artist Unknown”
As we mentioned, sometimes Squidward brings bad things on himself. This is one of those times. He’s teaching an art class where SpongeBob is the sole pupil, but the student immediately surpasses the master. So the cephalopod lies, berating his neighbor to save face. Things get messy when a fancy art collector sees SpongeBob work however, as Squidward claims he made it, breaks it, and then needs the actual artist to remake it. Unfortunately, our sponge isn’t creating like he used to. In a rage, Squidward wrecks everything, unknowingly crafting a new masterpiece. It’s too bad he leaves without realizing, and doesn’t take credit. Art is such a passion of his, and who knows what doors this could’ve opened?
#12: Getting SpongeBob's Laugh
Top 10 Worst Things Squidward Has Done
"Funny Pants"
In this episode, Squidward warns SpongeBob his “laugh box” will get wrecked unless he refrains from laughing for 24 hours. Okay, yes, that’s pretty mean – but we kind of get it. We’ve all been around someone with an annoying giggle before. Squidward just wants a break. Sadly, the whole thing backfires when he eventually does the right thing and tells SpongeBob the truth. They initially share a chuckle, but Squidward goes too hard and actually breaks his own “laugh box.” He wakes up in the hospital having received a transplant with, of course, SpongeBob as his donor. Now, he’s stuck with the laugh he tried so hard to get rid of – that stings.
#11: Turning Into a Giant
Top 10 TV Shows That Are Turning 20 This Year
“Giant Squidward”
Someone should probably write a complaint to the manufacturers of Kelp Grow. There really oughta be a HUGE warning on the bottle stating that you should only be using it in your garden! When SpongeBob and Patrick turn Squidward into a giant using the product, the residents of Bikini Bottom turn on the octopus. He tries to prove he’s a gentle giant, but ultimately, it’s no use. Nobody deserves that. This isn’t the only example of the town rejecting Squidward, either. Remember the time he was ostracized after he read SpongeBob’s diary aloud? Let’s not forget many people were all too eager to listen to the stories before they realized the full extent of the situation. Bikini Bottom doesn’t get him!
#10: Getting Trapped in Limbo
Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Kim Possible
"SB-129"
While hiding from SpongeBob and Patrick in the Krusty Krab freezer, Squidward inadvertently winds up frozen for 2000 years. As you can imagine, he’s eager to get home. Thankfully, the futuristic SpongeBob – named SpongeTron – lets him know there’s a time machine. All Squiddy wants is somewhere quiet to play his clarinet, but whether he’s in the past or future, he can’t outrun different versions of SpongeBob and Patrick. He ends up breaking the time machine trying to get away and lands in a limbo-type place. At first, he’s thrilled to be by himself, but it quickly starts to feel like a prison, and he can’t take the crushing solitude. He does get out in the end, but that was really freaky for a while there.
#9: Fired From His Own TV Show
Top 10 Reality Show Scandals That Got Stars Fired
“Tentacle-Vision”
After learning how easy it is to get on TV, Squidward lands a chance to host his own talk show on public access. Unfortunately, SpongeBob, Patrick, and all of Bikini Bottom get in the way as they break into Squidward’s house and turn his simple talk show into a wild house party. Apparently, the show’s a hit, but the cephalopod gets booted off his own show; to add insult to injury, they continue using his house and his name for their own insane, obnoxiously loud series – keeping him wide awake at night.
#8: Being Trapped in Cement
Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Randy Marsh on South Park
“The Thing”
After his TV time is ruined, Squidward leaves his home in a huff… only to run into a cement truck and get completely covered in concrete. Mistaken for a wild animal, he is put in a zoo by animal control – where visitors laugh at how hideous he is. SpongeBob and Patrick eventually break him out and leave him in the wild with creatures that look almost exactly like him. What makes all this humiliation even worse is that never ONCE does anyone seem to wonder or care about where the missing Squidward is – but at least he gets a somewhat happy ending afterward.
#7: Head Trauma
Top 20 Best Beavis and Butt-Head Moments
“Squid Baby”
Once again, SpongeBob and Patrick interupt Squidward’s private time with their annoying playtime; this time, however, Squidward ends up hitting his head so hard, it swells up and he starts acting like a baby. The bumbling twosome acts as the infantile cephalopod’s parents, which leads to even more head trauma. It becomes uncomfortably disturbing with every hit Squidward takes on the noggin, and cringy with the idea of him mentally regressing to an infant, and his little… “accident” at work. Thankfully, a little ice brings our cephalopod back to normal, and we can try to forget this episode ever happened.
#6: Losing His Perfect Sunday…Forever
“Good Neighbors”
Squidward made plans for a nice, simple Sunday where he can relax. Sadly, SpongeBob and Patrick take away most of his day by annoying him. He tries to keep them out with a new security system… but it turns his house into a rampaging robot that destroys half of Bikini Bottom. To top it all off, because it was his house, he’s sentenced to do community service every Sunday for the rest of his life… alongside SpongeBob and Patrick. All Squidward wants is to enjoy his Sundays in peace, but thanks to his “good neighbors” he’ll never have that luxury ever again.
#5: Sentenced to Boating School
“Boating Buddies”
After accidentally running into a stop sign, Squidward is sentenced to a day at Mrs. Puff’s Boating School. That doesn’t sound so bad… except he ends up in you-know-whose class. Naturally, SpongeBob is excited to share a class with his neighbor, but his admiration comes off as borderline obsessive and clingy. The “fun” doesn’t stop there, as Squidward gets repeatedly beaten up for inane reasons until he’s too injured to complete his final exam. If his next class is anything like this one, then our grumpy squid might be trapped in Boating School for a long time – all thanks to his “boating buddy”.
#4: SquidBob TentaclePants
“SquidBob TentaclePants”
Squidward is preparing for his big clarinet recital, but when he accidentally gets mixed up in Sandy’s latest experiment, he and SpongeBob end up fused together into one two-headed monstrosity. This is doubly horrifying for Squidward. However, in a bizarre twist of fate, the recital crowd loves the two-headed guy. And for a brief shining moment, Squidward is finally in the limelight – until Sandy fixes the two at the worst possible time. With his recital ruined and his newfound stardom gone, Squidward desperately tries to reverse the process… and the result is even more terrifying and hard to stomach.
#3: Feeling Hopeless
“Are You Happy Now?”
SpongeBob wants to give Squidward a happiest memory, but all his attempts only make the cephalopod even more miserable. Eventually, Squidward experiences feelings of depression, and there are some pretty grim visual gags with dark implications – luckily, they turn out to be tasteless fakeouts. In a last-ditch effort, SpongeBob tries to cheer up his forlorn neighbor with a party… full of paper-mâché doppelgangers of himself. Finally having his fill of his annoying neighbor’s hijinks, Squidward snaps and violently wrecks the SpongeBob copies, screaming that this is his happiest memory. Well, at least he’s feeling better?
#2: His ‘Visit’ with SpongeBob
Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Sandy Cheeks
“Squid’s Visit”
Even the cephalopod’s house takes its own share of beatings – blown up, demolished in a golf game, the list goes on. Nevertheless, Squidward would never leave the comforts of his home to visit SpongeBob’s pineapple… unless he was forced to. The little sneak “borrows” his vacuum cleaner to lure him next door only to reveal that he’s redesigned his interior to match Squidward’s… down to an eerily microscopic level. When he finally escapes this carbon copy nightmare, Squidward finds that his real house has burned to the ground – leaving him no choice but to stay in SpongeBob’s replica after a gutting breakdown.
#1: His ‘Best Day Ever’
Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Stewie Griffin
“Jellyfishing”
We’ve seen Squidward get mauled by Sea Bears, guard worms, and so on; but this is one of the earliest instances of the poor schlub taking his unnecessary lumps. After a biking accident, Squidward ends up in a body cast, and thus SpongeBob and Patrick try to make sure he has the best day ever. What follows is an all-day marathon of pain – getting burnt by hot soup, having his hand impaled, all before finally getting gruesomely zapped by a queen jellyfish. While the twosome had good intentions, it only cements how hazardous they really are for Squidward’s health.
